Here's a tiny snippet from both the first- and third-person perspective versions of Synesthesia. I'd greatly appreciate it if someone would tell me which version sounds better.
First Person
Grilled cheese sandwiches are great on a day like today. Hell, they're great any day. My fiancée, Erin, is in the shower, so I set the table, deliberately putting the placemats on upside down. She hates that.
As I put the sandwiches on our plates I notice something on the counter; a letter. It's addressed to Erin, but it's open. Nothing usually comes for her. I don't remember getting this out of the mailbox, either.
I leave the letter alone. I can just ask her when she gets out of the shower. She usually doesn't go out in public without being clean and pretty. Then again, she's pretty whether she's clean or not.
A few minutes later, she's out of the shower. She sits next to me with her hair still in the towel, though it dries faster than mine; hers being shorter and all. She flips the placemats immediately after sitting, but doesn't react with her normal play-fight. She looks at me, her eyes still happy, but vacant.
"It has to be horrible not reacting with the world." Erin says, staring out the windshield at the handicapped sign in front of our car. I turn the key and look over at her. She's clearly bothered by something more than just her mother being in this asylum, but she won't tell me until I guess it. I have no leads, so I don't ask. I drive to the bank, taking every side road I can think of. I can hear all the big machines running on the major roads. Damn construction season.
I see flashes of red, coming as fast as the ones on a lighthouse, and each one illuminates something...nearly formless. I'm not sure what it is. I think it's human. Yes, it's shaped like a face, but...those details are off. All I can see are eyes and a mouth. The rest looks so...strange and...curved.
Third Person
Grilled cheese sandwiches, Jack thinks, are perfect on a day like today. He has already set the table and his fiancée is in the shower. Hell, they’re perfect any day. He makes sure that at least one placemat is upside-down so the wrong color is showing because he knows how much his fiancée hates it.
As he puts the sandwiches on the plates, he notices something on the counter; a letter. It’s addressed to Erin, his fiancée, and it’s already been opened. Nothing usually comes for her. I don’t think I took this out of the mailbox, either. He leaves the letter on the counter and makes a mental note to ask her about it.
A few minutes later, she comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped around her hair. She flips the placemats over instinctively upon sitting down, but doesn’t react with her usual play-fight. She looks at him with vacant but happy eyes.
"It has to be horrible not reacting with the world." Erin says, staring out the windshield at the handicapped sign in front of the car. Jack turns the key and looks over at her. She's clearly bothered by something more than just her mother being in this asylum, but she’s hiding whatever it is. He has no leads, so he doesn't ask. He drives to the bank, taking every side road he can think of. They can both hear all the big machines running on the major roads. Damn construction season.
He can see flashes of red, coming as fast as the ones on a lighthouse, and each one illuminates something...nearly formless. I think…it's human. Yes, it's shaped like a face, but...those details are off. All I can see are eyes and a mouth. The rest looks so...strange and...curved.
And yes, I know these are bad examples, but I haven't really accomplished much in my rewrite. Also, they are randomly selected, so stuff happens between them ^_^
Monday, September 28, 2009
Great News!
I'll be getting a new tablet soon, so YIPPEE! More art will be on here...and possibly even more writing (I prefer tablet-writing, to typing, even though it takes longer). So, that's my great news for the day.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Stress
I've been too stressed to write lately. What I need is a day, alone or with a certain other person, but that rarely happens, and when it does, I have withdrawal symptoms, which is strange, but ends up making me even worse. So, as soon as I can be alone, I'll probably start writing again.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Progress
I've added to Synesthesia, though progress has halted until I finish rewriting it in third person. So far, my test reader prefers it in third person. I, personally, think it sounds weird and sappy, but then again, my test reader likes Twilight...(though she does have good taste in other books).
Just thought I'd announce that. If anyone wants me to, I'll post a section of the "reformatted" version of the novel. I may even post a paragraph or two from part that I haven't shared with my fans yet. Just remember; it won't get posted if you don't ask.
Just thought I'd announce that. If anyone wants me to, I'll post a section of the "reformatted" version of the novel. I may even post a paragraph or two from part that I haven't shared with my fans yet. Just remember; it won't get posted if you don't ask.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Frustration
This post won't be very long. I just want to say I'm frustrated with my old computer now. It fried the fan I was using ($20 that I doubt I'll get back soon) AND my tablet ($80-something that is even less likely to show up in my bank). So...yeah. Expect less art from me and more writing...though I haven't done much of that in a while. I'm watching Mirrormask again, so I'll have that spark of creativity again. That movie always has that effect for me. I definitely recommend it to everyone, anyway, as it's a really good movie. Oh, and IMDb kind of simplifies its plot. It's partially written by the same author as Coraline (which I have yet to see and want to very badly) and was brought to life by Jim Henson Studios.
So, in other words, I'm watching a movie so I can write stuff that's nothing like the movie because the movie gives me a huge amount of inspiration. Yeah. I shouldn't write right after I wake up.
So, in other words, I'm watching a movie so I can write stuff that's nothing like the movie because the movie gives me a huge amount of inspiration. Yeah. I shouldn't write right after I wake up.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
New Computer
So, I've decided I needed a new computer. I know, I know, I just got this one. Also, I know that this is my LITERARY blog. So why am I putting something personal? Well, that's an easy question that will be answered in a roundabout way.
The new computer will be an Acer Aspire One netbook. Why am I getting a new one? Because this one hates all forms of input (CDs, DVDs, USB, MS/Pro, SD/MMC), even though it HAS all of those drives. And why does that warrant getting a new computer? Because that means I can't use my design tablet, my fan, my flash drives, my cameras, my MP3 players, or my games. Did you catch that first one? MY DESIGN TABLET. That's why I want this new one. That's also why I'm only getting a netbook. This one is going to be for my art and writing.
Are you ready for the answer to why I'm posting this? Probably not, but here I go! All of my art, music, and writing will be transferred to that computer (also, without fear of ever losing it, as it has a solid-state drive, meaning no moving parts to break over time). Why does that concern you? Well, it doesn't, honestly. What does concern you is that means that this blog will be for ALL forms of art. This blog will have links to music IN THE PUBLIC DOMAIN (LEGAL and FREE), links to artists' websites, my art, my writing, and maybe the occasional other stuff, like links to writers' websites.
So, THAT is how it will affect you, my reader...s? I think there's more than one of you...Let's see...Dudel, possibly Imouto, I THINK Sumomo...Toshio, too?
Also, I'll PRIMARILY try to only include my own works as I can provide a true comment on them, as I am not the other writers or artists and cannot speak for them. If possible, I will also try to get interviews with other writers (as I am on Anne Rice's personal friends account's friends list (on Facebook)...as strangely worded as that was (she has one for personal friends and one for fans. I'm on the former). It's not likely, as she's busy and *gasp* responds to her fans! But I will at least attempt to try it. In other words, there's about a .001% (if that) chance you'll see an interview with Anne Rice on this site in the near future. (It will be an interview over the internet, since I'm nowhere close to Anne Rice and am homebound).
The new computer will be an Acer Aspire One netbook. Why am I getting a new one? Because this one hates all forms of input (CDs, DVDs, USB, MS/Pro, SD/MMC), even though it HAS all of those drives. And why does that warrant getting a new computer? Because that means I can't use my design tablet, my fan, my flash drives, my cameras, my MP3 players, or my games. Did you catch that first one? MY DESIGN TABLET. That's why I want this new one. That's also why I'm only getting a netbook. This one is going to be for my art and writing.
Are you ready for the answer to why I'm posting this? Probably not, but here I go! All of my art, music, and writing will be transferred to that computer (also, without fear of ever losing it, as it has a solid-state drive, meaning no moving parts to break over time). Why does that concern you? Well, it doesn't, honestly. What does concern you is that means that this blog will be for ALL forms of art. This blog will have links to music IN THE PUBLIC DOMAIN (LEGAL and FREE), links to artists' websites, my art, my writing, and maybe the occasional other stuff, like links to writers' websites.
So, THAT is how it will affect you, my reader...s? I think there's more than one of you...Let's see...Dudel, possibly Imouto, I THINK Sumomo...Toshio, too?
Also, I'll PRIMARILY try to only include my own works as I can provide a true comment on them, as I am not the other writers or artists and cannot speak for them. If possible, I will also try to get interviews with other writers (as I am on Anne Rice's personal friends account's friends list (on Facebook)...as strangely worded as that was (she has one for personal friends and one for fans. I'm on the former). It's not likely, as she's busy and *gasp* responds to her fans! But I will at least attempt to try it. In other words, there's about a .001% (if that) chance you'll see an interview with Anne Rice on this site in the near future. (It will be an interview over the internet, since I'm nowhere close to Anne Rice and am homebound).
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